For the record, I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman whose experience as a failed Vice Presidential candidate, half-term Governor, and eight-episode Reality Show Star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal.

A British Superman?! It’s bad enough that James Bond is British! Superman is American! His name is SuperMAN not Smashing Gent. And let’s remember…let’s remember his spaceship crash landed in Smallville, Kansas not Uppington-Upon-Tweed-Wee-Chestershire. For God’s sake! The man gets his power from the sun. How could he be British? They don’t have a sun. They’re misplaced lifeforms. And what’s Superman gonna do? Fly up to the roof tops to sweep yer chimney, Guvna? ‘Here, Miss, I can use me x-ray vision to tell you what’s in that Sheppard’s pie. Blimey! It’s bits of Sheppard.’ Superman stands for truth, justice, and the American way. Which means flying on the right side of the road. So, British people, if you want a superhero of your own, try something more in line with your strengths. Like Alfred. He’s got a British accent and he does everything the rich American tells him to. That’s something you can relate to. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Take that, 2006.